The UN Tax Convention — The Only Morally And Practically Sound Option

Marla Dukharan
4 min readDec 18, 2023
Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash

Imagine you work in a factory producing wallets that enable you to optimize your tax bill while traveling around the world to buy and sell things. Each country manufactures wallets somewhere along the tax-efficiency spectrum, with some being highly optimized (like those crafted by Foreigners in the Alps for over 300 years and Delaware for about 100 years) while others possess minimal tax optimization. Over time, your factory has changed hands from its original Foreign owners to locals, but it continues to operate successfully. You adhere to the wallet production rules and guidelines passed down by the Foreigners through the generations.

As it turns out, your factories start to flourish due to the exceptional quality of your wallets and your superior customer service. Then one day, the original Foreign owners of your factory send their Tax Wallet Enforcement Regulatory Police (TWERP) to arrest everyone in your country for producing wallets. They claim your wallets have suddenly become harmful and immoral, accusing your country of robbing itself (!) and others, keeping you all so poor. You are horrified! You would never profit off anyone else’s poverty. You cooperate with the Foreigners and their TWERPs because you were brought up under the Foreigners’ strict moral code to obey.

The TWERPs tell you to use different materials to make your wallets, they tell you who you can sell wallets to, how much you can sell the wallets for, and limit how much tax optimization you can put into them. Every year or two, the TWERPs come back to inspect your wallets, but invariably they sentence you to more punishment because you never get it right. The TWERPs change the rules again and again, but the poverty and inequality only get worse. You realize that the Foreigners and their TWERPs colluded to falsely portray you and your wallets as criminal and morally reprehensible. Their deceit leads the whole world to view you and your wallets, and anyone found carrying them, with suspicion and hostility. So even though your wallets work perfectly, they aren’t so attractive.

THE GLOBAL NORTH WILL NEVER DESIGN THEIR (TAX) POLICY WITH THE GLOBAL SOUTH IN MIND

The Foreigners capture your wallet clients, growing their sales and widening the wealth gap. You complain to the Foreigners and their TWERPs. So the TWERPs try their best to inspect all the Foreigners’ factories, but they say the most prolific wallet factories are too high up in the Alps, and the poor TWERPs could suffer debilitating altitude sickness, or die of boredom in Delaware. Also, the Foreigners force their poor TWERPs to wear hats specifically designed to block the TWERPs’ eyes and ears as they enter the Foreigners’ factories. So the Foreigners simply tell their TWERPs that they are compliant with the TWERP’s rules and the TWERPs leave the Foreigners alone. You keep complaining dammit, so the Foreigners and their TWERPs take 10 whole years to come up with an excruciatingly complicated and expensive two-pillar plan that all countries must adhere to otherwise face death. So, your country agrees and tries its best to comply. Alas, the plan does not work. Many countries continue to suffer while the Foreigners thrive.

You see, back when the Foreigners owned your factory and your country, they set up the largest and most highly sophisticated network of bilateral wallet agreements, such that all the wallets in this network will always be tax optimized in the Foreigners’ favour. So when the Foreigners sold your factory and exited your country, they were not obligated to take their wealth back home and pay tax on it. Most of these bilateral wallet agreements make many countries poorer BY DESIGN. So why don’t the Foreigners and their TWERPs just fix the unfair bilateral wallet agreements to reverse their pro-poverty bias, instead of pursuing their wholly ineffective (if not perverse) two-pillar plan? Maybe because in this zero-sum game, they don’t really want us to have more of the pie. This Foreign-TWERP two-pillar plan was never designed to be fair or fix anything, only to give that impression and distract everyone. You see, the TWERPs are all wearing the funny hats their employers, the Foreigners, gave them, while they all laugh all the way to their bank high up in the Alps or down in Delaware. This is why it is crucial and morally superior that all countries support the historic Africa-led UN Tax Convention. Otherwise, you have consciously and deliberately chosen to prioritize our poverty.

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